it is not that easy

the latest picture of me

1st day of raya

is just a picture

I just realized just now, it is not that easy to forget or erase *totally crap* something or memories in our mind or heart. it is still there, remained forever I think. but it is not means you still in love with him/her... it is just you cannot delete all the memories like a computer. when you want to delete something, just press the Delete button and empty the Recycle Bin.

I met him twice by accidentally. thank god I was in my car. I don't know if he realized that was me in the car. yeah it is hard for me to cope all this but I am trying now. step by step. I can't avoid myself from accidentally meet his parent or siblings because we were in the same neighbours.

like just now, I met his brother & sister in law at Starbucks, ECM. I just smiled at his brother. it was awkward for me. like pretending nothing happens and doing just fine but apparently, not. I am too struggling now of getting healed by this nightmare and crap. I decided to say hye to them. Alhamdulillah, they still nice to me, asking me where I am going and invite me to join them... but I already have plan with my friend, to watch a movie.

from that moment which is just now, I realized it is not easy to forget just like that. it is hard to forget something you wished you had but apparently you are not. it is not...

I hope everything is doing just fine

at least for now

xoxo

pray hard