just listen and think

Frankly speaking, I’m bored here because I have no class to attend. I don’t know what else to do beside eat, sleep, surf, shop, le tour de Taman Universiti and so on. The most ideal, perfect word for it is DULL. I want to continue my dissertation writing but my problem is the idea was not there. The idea was not here, in my brain. Gosh! Where they all have been?

Now I keep spending my money. Guess what… I have spent about RM1k within a month! That’s totally crazy with the money that I spent for shopping. So, next month I have to re-schedule back my budget. Please spend wisely. Yeah, I hope so. Thank god we are near to fasting month. So at least, I do have a part time job.

I really missed my hometown, my friends and mostly my ‘panda si kurus’. I don’t think that I can adapt with this long distance relationship. But I have to. It is very annoying to see all the couples here dating and giggling around with their partner but me? You are so LONELY. Sound desperate huh? With this kind of feeling, envy & jealousy, I need to MOTIVATE myself. Nowadays, I became a person with lack of confident, passive & pessimist. All those negative thinking kept rewind in my head. Oh god! This is not ME!!

My friends said that I will survive anywhere I go or went. Within this 2 month, I will fly to Japan and study there for 5 month. It is really scared to think of maybe I’m not ready for this life of changing. Too drastic because I must stepped out from my comfort zone. If you were in my shoes, you must understand what I have been through. I need LIFE!!

Please be strong this time. You actually got a lot work to do but something is stopping you from doing all those works. Damn! I hate this feeling. I hate this part. I think I should cry now. That can make me feel better besides shopping. I got to be strong. I just keep pushing on…

xoxo

:(