Saturday, August 21, 2010

my feelings...

previous post I said I won't cry but apparently I did cry. after I post my entry, read through all his sms over again and then blur. I took my time to realize that... he is really actually dumped me. for real. not this evening but 3 months ago when he is started to change into another person or a stranger maybe for me. what I felt for now... hmm kinda hard to say but I did not know what is actually I am up to or thinking of. all were totally mixed up. angry? rage? happy? sad? lost? blur? everything is inside my mind for now.

I am glad that this thing is not crashing on me just like that. I means before this I have prepared for this circumstances. I know it will happens one day. I actually kinda hurt with his way to solve our matters. no specific or concrete reasons why he wants to end up our relationship. he said there were too many problems. I think from his side. and I did not know why he is asking me to delete all the entries in my CINTA BARU ku label and also some pictures of him. heh. I already deleted a long time ago. If you all realized that, yes I have deleted certain posts from that label.

I am very curious about this. he said people talking about him because of my blog. about what? why now at this time he wants to drag all about my posts? since when he is listening to what other people said? can I said he is hiding something from me? no one can give me the answer. only him.

I have talked about this with my parents. my dad asked me to wait another 3 months just to see what will happens before this. remember the other post about I am not b2b anymore? so, I am waiting like an idiot. an idiot just waiting for her name to be called. so what I am waiting for? I am waiting that he will say he wants to break up with me. yes and he did. I am still pissed off right now. still...

don't blame on me after this what will happens. either I am keep on cursing him or just get angry with him. I don't know. time will heal me. I will better in time. so for now, I think my parent will handle my case after this. just waiting for his parent to see mine and return the ring as soon as possible. FYI, I did not wear the ring since a month ago. the ring means nothing for me. did I love him? NO. so why I kept whining about him? because this is about anger and rage.

to him:

don't expect me to get over like you did
remember that everything in this world has a karma
what you did, you will get back
this is not a revenge
it is just you are not professional or matured enough to handle one simple relationship
you think you are
but unfortunately you are not
and you have no guts to confront me
like a coward person
simply drop a sms saying that we are over?
go to hell bastard


don't get me wrong here readers
I am not trying to be a rude person
but I have a feeling too to take care of
I have been hurt too much...
these much...

sometimes doing nice is not actually really good
because people can easily manipulate & use us
just like he did to me

" I remember years ago, someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, I did"
- Shontelle, Impossible


I really hate you at this moment


No-Nothing said...

stay strong dear...
dats guys 4 ya...never think much,never think bout da consequences..n never think bout da very childish,yet very foolish,coward...

stay strong pal...i'm here by ur side..nope,not ur side..i'm here at ur back...

Shahira said...

thanks buddy!

Anonymous said...


sy xleh nak cakap apa..
tapi berdoa semoga Allah memudahkan urusan kamu ye.


No-Nothing said...

we r fwen...lgpun lame xdgr kbr ko...hope sht dn slm Ramadhan pal

Shahira said...

thanks fara!

nyna said...

be strong ya.

Shahira said...

thanks my dear nyna.

Drunbella Khoo said...

tetiba pulak die macam tu kan.
ada lah tu.
takpa cik sha.
jalani hidup seperti biasa.
jangan jadi insan yang lemah okayy.
big girls dont cry.

Shahira said...

td je i menangis.
skg ni no more tears.

Anonymous said...

4 u info...that guy...da couple ngan i selama 2 thn ..since 2008..time tu dia ngah ambik deg kat Shah ni..siapa ditipu siapa actually?? :) lelaki tu x leh percaya...dia ckp x kapel since 8 years ago???? OMG..W T H....

LORD ZARA 札拉 said...

Well...some guys (SOME) will use any reasons untuk get rid apa yang dorang rasa nak get rid off (or dumped off).

So, in your case darling, he used the blog as the main reason. What the hell with that kind of statement, ramai orang cakap pasal dia when he appeared in your blog? Junk. Takde benda yang salah pun. U are just sharing, that's all.

Be strong darling.
I know U will.

Love U.

To ANON : Is that so? Now, that's a new prove that he might be a totally Jerk.

Shahira said...

hmm i think i might know who u r anon.
emm can u email me pls?
bcos this thing is about my dignity too.
not only mine but my family too.
i really want to know u & ur story.
seriously i am really pissed off right now.

Shahira said...

yeah zara.
i thought the same too.
yesterday my friend said that he might has another girl or ex gf might know something about him that he lied about.
no wonder he is asking me to del only that posts in that label.
damn seriously i really pissed off right now.

sAI+0+ said...

My dear Sha,
Never think any part of you is lacking
Never doubt your abilities
Never question your judgement
Never let anyone or anything make you feel less than you are
Because who you are..
is someone special
Never lose faith in yourself
Just look around you
Friends who surround you..
Because they love and care for you...
Support you and most important..
Believe in you...

Because you are someone special...

Shahira said...

huuu thanks esah.
i know i have family & friends who loved me and adored me.
thanks for being with me.

Anonymous said...

what a stupid guy!!!
ok sha..i'll email u later..
ex GF???? slama ni x pernah pulak break...couple 2thn..smpai la skrg i kebetulan tau sume benda ni...
if ada anugerah pelakon penipu terbaik...mmg sah! dia leh menang tu...berturut2...

shiela-suka-suki said...

blh buat filem plak cmni.nk sumpah lebih2, sesungguhnya aku sedang bepuasa, kurang pahala pose( pose ini ari).pesanan buat si fulan,tunggu jela amalan anda dihitung di akhirat kelak.menipu dan tidak jujur.berdosa.masa tu hang tak dapat nak lari dah.nak sorok kepala dalam tanah cm burung unta buat pun dah tak leh dah.renung2kan dan selamat beramal.
to my sis, i know u r strong person.u will survive dear.just show to him that u r farrr wayyyy better w/o him.takde ko pun aku tak heran la kan.oopps, teremo plaks.

dell darla said...

oh yessssssssssss. the cat is out of the bag and into the hot frying pan!!! mari makan itu kucing!!

mari sebarkan hal ni. biar dia tau kuasa blog kat dunia ni. to ikhwan, ROTFLMAO!

Shahira said...

Bole plak kan msg2 i suh del this entry if not die akan report kat polis atas siber crime in 24 hrs.
I'm not that stupid la...
Hmm i'm really sorry to u anon.
Seriously i mmg tatau die ade gf sb die ckp da clash.
Mujur his parent jz dtg merisik je.
If kteorg da tunang xtaulaaa.
Nthen he said to me jz now dia dah ade gf lain.
So leave him alone.
Sape psiko sape ntah.

Shahira said...

Thanks along.
Adik takla terkejut sgt he's cheating on me.
Sb dr dlu mmg da rs curious tp let it be.

Shahira said...

Nnt aku balik ktn, aku bg ko bc seme msg dr mamat nih.
Totally annoyed me!

anti-lelaki jongos said...

eleh. apsal smpai nak report polis?? klu polis tau yg dia tu kaki tipu kaki pompuan, polis pon tak amik port laaaaaaaa. tak yah goyang ngn ckp laki tu

sha-1, ikhwan-0

Shahira said...

die ingt polis nak layan kot.
anyway i like ur name.

sAI+0+ said...

da tipu orang nak ugut2 lak...
cukup 40 orang curse die
x aman la dunia akhirat..
Remember one thing Sha...
pape pon yang die wat skarang bole lepas...
tapi kat sana die tanggung sniri..

so let him be....

doakan dia dapat apa yang dia dapat apa yang dicari,..
so die x haru birukan idop kite lg..

sAI+0+ said...

* dia dapat apa yang die cari...
tergelojoh lakk

Shahira said...

heeee muahhhhhhhh.
cyg ko esah!!

sAI+0+ said...

sayang ko jugak!!!!
mmuahh mmuahhhhh!!!!!!!

Shahira said...

where are u anon???
don't trust that guy.
sweet talker~